So, I actually tried to research this entry before I started writing. But what I found on the net was horrific. Self-help on relationships that need some sexing up was just appalling.
In any case, I chose to write this as I am a person who is in a long-term relationship. It’s not always rosy, and sometimes, even when everything is working out smoothly, it is just plain boring.
One thing I have never regretted is calling it quits when my heart (and this will sound lame) tells me that there’s something wrong. However, I also noticed that the older a person gets, the harder it is to listen to your heart.
Things like status, money, and social security are only a few of the issues that come to mind. I’m not saying that loving the other person becomes obsolete, but other considerations weigh on you when you’re thinking about taking a break or telling your partner you want to break up.
Perhaps the worst case scenario is when your partner is a genuinely decent person. Thoughts of never being able to find a guy as good as him, who cares as much or who would help you out in your time of need are ever-present.
But I am a firm believer that any well-thought out change will be for the better… eventually. The process will be very difficult, but usually, in retrospect, you will know that you took the right decision.
Since we’re talking about change and/or the fear of change, it seems only natural that we talk about the process of taking decisions.
You need to know that at any given time, you have an X amount of options that you can choose from. Never regret something you did after a well-thought out process. The fact is, what is available now, was not available then.
So do not hate yourself if something you have always desired happened after you quit the relationship/job/school… etc. In reality, you probably quit BECAUSE your relationship/job/school did not give you what you wanted.
Always remember that choosing the best available option at any given point will spare you a lot of regret and angst. However, stupid and rash decisions will leave you wondering.
The bottom line is this: being unhappy will not magically disappear, unless you make some changes. They could include you working on your relationship or perhaps ending it.
And as Rumi said: “Do not grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.”
